They were at the hospital to interview a witness when it happened. One second, Tony was yawning as Kate questioned the young Lieutenant and planning out his weekend, and the next, gunshots and screams rang out down the hall. He instinctively drew his own gun and, crouching low, ran closer. Peering around the corner, he flinched on seeing Gibbs on the floor, bleeding black blood from the left shoulder, the other agent’s gun a few feet away. The world went dark on him, tunnel-vision focused solely on Gibbs for all of three seconds.
A scream brought him out of it and Tony’s gaze lifted from Gibbs to find a nurse being held hostage as the gunman dragged her towards a door.
Beside him, gun up and aimed at the perp, Kate hissed, “I can take him.”
Shaking off the paralysis, Tony shook his head. “You could hit the woman. I can see the black and whites outside, let me distract him. Cover me.”
She gave him a disbelieving look, but nodded.
Grateful for his physical advantage, Tony kept his gun low as he stepped out, calling, “It’s no good, man, you’ve got to let her go, okay?”
“She wouldn’t give me my fuckin’ meds, man! They’re out to fuckin’ get me!” the man screamed, eyes wide and wild.
Just perfect, a crazy junkie, Tony thought with a mental groan. But he could see the cops coming in the doors down the hall and knew he had to keep the man distracted. “It’s going to be okay, I promise. I’ll make sure that she gives you the meds you need, all right? I can do that, I’m a federal agent.”
The gun in the perp’s hand shook as he thought about Tony’s words. “You’re lying!”
“I’m not, I promise,” Tony exclaimed, stepping forward a few steps. “I’ll get you whatever it is that you need. That’s totally something I can do. All you need to do, is let her go, okay? Just let her go and drop the gun so I can get you out of this.”
Something like calm entered the man’s eyes and Tony knew he was dead as the gun was aimed over the woman’s shoulder at him. Gunshots exploded, but Tony felt no impact or pain. A glazed look came over the perp’s face and he crumpled to the floor, apparently dead.
Without waiting, Tony spun and practically leaped towards Gibbs. His gun was automatically holstered as he shouted, “Agent down! I need a doctor here asap!” and instantly put pressure on the wound with his bare hands.
Kate was again beside him and he heard her calling for help, but his attention was completely on Gibbs. Pained blue eyes fluttered open and Gibbs looked up at him, confused.
“Tony? What happened?”
The words were almost too faint to make out, but Tony heard them. He leaned in and answered, “You were shot, Boss. I think you were trying to save a nurse from some junkie, but I wasn’t here.”
“It’s freezing in here,” Gibbs murmured, licking at his lips. “Can’t you turn up the heat?”
Tony’s breath hitched in his throat and he put even more pressure on the blood that wouldn’t stop flowing through his fingers, staining him to the soul. “No, God damn it, Gibbs, you’re not fucking dying on me! Don’t you dare!”
Gibbs’ eyes blinked open again at that and he smiled; an open, warm, and loving smile that hit Tony right in the gut. It made the years fade from the other man, the loss of cynicism and the shields that were normally in place. Licking his lips again, Gibbs said softly, “Should’ve told you before, Tony, sorry about that. Should’ve said...something...before now...when it’s too late.”
Tears closed Tony’s throat and he shook his head, wordless, denying what he knew to be true.
“Yeah, yeah it is,” Gibbs continued, coughing weakly. “Love you, Tony, with everything...I have. Sorry about this. I can’t stay.”
“No, please Gibbs, Jethro, don’t, don’t leave me,” Tony begged, squeezing the wound and vaguely wondering why there weren’t any doctors there yet when they were in the middle of a hospital. “I love you too, don’t go, please!”
And then the doctors were there, pushing him out of the way and taking over with efficient hands and rapid-fire words. Strong hands, delicate ones for all their strength, pulled Tony to his feet and held tight to him when he tried to get close again.
“Let them work Tony, they might be able to save him,” Kate whispered harshly.
They trailed after the gurney as Gibbs was wheeled at almost a run towards the surgical unit. A simple pair of double doors separated him from Gibbs and his arms wrapped around himself, that cold Gibbs had been talking about hitting him hard. He didn’t really feel Kate’s arm around his waist, even as he leaned heavily on her.
When the doctor came out only twenty minutes later, Tony knew what had happened before a single word was said. Shaking his head, Tony jerked free of Kate’s now-confining hands and shouted, “He’s not dead!”
“I’m sorry,” the doctor replied, helpless and pained.
The strength left Tony’s legs and he collapsed, wondering who the hell was making such a racket. It wasn’t until a sharp pain hit his shoulder and the world started to fade out that he realized it was him making that awful, keening noise.
Makes sense though, he thought vaguely. There’s no way I can feel this kind of pain and stay quiet. Am I quiet
now?
He must be, he decided when Kate’s tearful face was blacked out with nothingness.
* * * *
Fornell wasn’t a person Kate wanted to see. Of course, she didn’t want Gibbs to be dead and Tony insensate from grief, either, but there was no choice in anything just then. Exhausted, she asked, “What do you want, Fornell?”
“Just to help,” he answered, quiet. “What do you need?”
Not really surprised, no matter the agency, when one agent went down, the others would pull together to help if they could. Same for in the cop community. It was a universal constant in law enforcement.
Sighing, Kate said, “Tony’s been sedated. He...reacted badly...to Gibbs’ death.”
Fornell was definitely surprised by that information. “Sedated?”
“Yeah,” Kate confirmed. “Can you keep an eye on him while I make some calls? No one at NCIS even knows about this yet. Wait, how did you hear about this so fast?”
“I was already here when it happened, had a personal appointment.”
That was when she noticed the casual clothes and lack of weaponry on him and said, “Right. Of course. Nothing bad, I hope?”
“No, I’m fine,” Fornell answered. “Well, my health’s good anyhow. Jesus. Gibbs is really dead? That’s hard to wrap my head around.”
A bitter, slightly hysterical laugh escaped Kate and she replied, “I know what you mean.”
He gripped her shoulder. “Maybe you should take a few minutes.”
But Kate shook her head. Someone had to step up and she was the only one left. “No, but thanks. I need to make those calls.”
“I’ll keep an eye on DiNozzo for you,” he promised.
“Thanks,” Kate said, pulling out her cell and walking a short distance away for privacy.
There were too many people to call, but Kate knew who needed to be first on the list.
* * * *
Ducky’s arrival was barely twenty minutes later and Kate had never felt more relieved to see someone in her life. It was almost like, now that Ducky was there, everything would be all right. That he would take care of everything. It was an unreasonable reaction, but one she couldn’t help feeling.
“Oh Caitlin, my dear, how are you?” Ducky asked softly, pulling her in close.
Kate allowed herself a moment’s weakness to wrap her arms around Ducky and hold on tight as emotion overwhelmed her. A long moment to let him hold her up and soothe her with gentle words and a hand rubbing up and down her spine. Kate didn’t cry simply because she knew that if she started, she wouldn’t be able to stop. Crying would come later, in the tub, with a bottle of wine.
Sniffling, Kate pulled back and looked up into kind, worried blue eyes that were a lot more like Gibbs’ than she’d ever realized. “I’ve been better, Ducky. How are you?”
He offered a brief smile and agreed, “Not the sort of thing to make my evening, I can assure you. Young McGee is comforting Abby back at the lab. I wouldn’t expect either any time soon. Has Tony woken yet?”
Kate shook her head. “The doctor gave him a strong dose, one to last until tomorrow morning.”
Ducky’s eyebrows arched and he murmured, “Strong indeed.”
“You didn’t see him, Ducky, it was like, God, he was in so much pain,” Kate whispered, throat closing and tears rising despite herself as she remembered the agony as Tony keened in the manner of those women you saw on the news from a third world country mourning their husbands or sons.
A surprisingly strong hand gripped Kate’s shoulder and squeezed, dragging her back from the emotional edge as Ducky said, “I’m not surprised. It’s hard to lose someone you never fully got the chance to love as you should.”
There was way too much personal experience in that statement for Kate to even chance asking about. Not at that time, anyhow. Sighing explosively, she said, “I spoke to the Director and he’s going to make the funeral arrangements. Really, I don’t know that I would trust anyone else to do Gibbs up right. Oh, God, no offense, Ducky!”
He chuckled, a warm, comforting sound, and replied, “No offense taken, my dear, honestly. While I am quite knowledgeable in the ways of a military funeral, I haven’t truly had the personal experience to go about arranging one. And I’m certain that’s what Jethro would have wanted.”
Relieved that he hadn’t taken her words amiss, Kate nodded, knowing that to be true. Gibbs was first, last, and foremost, a Marine. He would want, and deserved, full honors.
After a long silence, Ducky asked, “What do you need me to do?”
Kate thought for a long moment then said, “Just to be here. That’s all I need.”
“I can do that,” Ducky replied softly, giving her an encouraging smile.
How wrong was it to feel more than just comforted by those firm, gentle words?
* * * *
Four days ago...
Despite the fact that TC had worked with Gibbs more than a few times
over the last five years, he made sure to stand well back from him when making
his announcement. As it was, the senior agent was clearly unhappy about being
rousted from his home and dragged to the FBI offices at three in the morning.
Sitting in an interrogation room for the last hour while TC had put the
finishing touches on the man’s new identity hadn’t done any wonders for his
temper, and the attempts at pacification through coffee strong enough to eat
away anyone else’s stomach lining had failed, spectacularly.
Taking a breath, TC said bluntly, “There’s a hit out on you.”
Gibbs stared at him for a moment, then asked,
“So?”
“Gibbs, maybe you didn’t hear me. Someone has put out word to kill you,
and it looks like a government contract. You seriously pissed off someone with
the juice to get back at you. You’re not safe anymore.”
With a snort, Gibbs answered, “I heard you, Fornell,
but I don’t really care. I’m not safe any day of my life. Do you know how many
psychos I’ve put away in the last nineteen years? How many are out on parole
right now? Do you know the amount of pissed off husbands and wives whose lives
were ruined due to my investigation? Do you? I sure as hell don’t, but I’m not
going to worry about it, or live my life looking over my shoulder.”
“Gibbs, please listen to me. This is a credible threat. More than
credible,” TC stated, moving closer. “I’ve gotten the paperwork put together
for you to start over.”
“Forget it.”
“Gibbs...”
“No!” Gibbs snarled, not moving from his seat. “I am not leaving my
life because some faceless coward is threatening me!”
Keeping his voice as hard as he could, TC said, “I’m not going to let
your pride get you killed, Gibbs. Or do you want to have one of your team take
a bullet for you? Maybe be in the car with you when the bomb goes off?”
That hit home, no doubt about it.
Gibbs’ gaze narrowed at him and he snapped, “Never happen, Fornell!”
“Yeah, it will. It’s like you’re some kind of religious icon to them.
Every single person on your team would jump in front of a gun for you, or
worse, and you know it,” TC pointed out.
The glower increased, but there wasn’t a denial. There couldn’t be,
because Gibbs would do the same for any one of his team, too. TC didn’t know
what inspired that kind of loyalty, that kind of drive, but he felt the affect
of it. He was compelled by this man glaring daggers at him and it pissed him
off. He didn’t want to be beholden to Gibbs, or to feel this need to make sure
he was protected and safe, but he did.
“Who is it? Tell me who it is and I’ll take care of it.”
And while TC had no doubt that he could, the man was trained in all
kinds of special forces techniques, he didn’t have the
necessary information. “I’m sorry, but we don’t know. All we do know is that
someone put out the contract and that it’s open-ended. It could happen
tomorrow, it could happen five years from now, though really, I doubt it. I
think that someone’s going to be stalking you for the next couple of weeks and
then a bullet is going to end you. Maybe more than one
someone. Probably more than one someone. Maybe
even one of those psychos you were talking about.”
Practically growling in frustration, Gibbs finally stood, pacing away
from TC towards the window. The agent stood beside it, instead of in front of
it, probably an instinctive behavior as he thought over what had just been
said.
Gibbs finally turned around and asked, “Why are you doing this? Witness
Protection when I haven’t seen anything? It doesn’t make any sense.”
“Who says this is Witness Protection?” TC countered.
Piercing blue eyes met his and Gibbs questioned, “It’s not?”
“If it was, they’d be able to find you too easy. This has official
approval, but everyone knows that no one can know where you go, or you’re dead
anyhow.”
For the first time, Gibbs looked tired and his age, slumping a bit as
he rubbed his hand over an eye. He sighed and met TC’s
gaze again and said, “Not even my team.”
TC hated to confirm that, but he had no choice. “Not even. Especially not. We need their reactions to be real, for
everyone watching to think that you’re dead because of their reactions.”
“Fuck.”
The quiet exclamation was heartfelt and TC nodded agreement. “Yeah.”
“After...”
“No. Gibbs, this won’t work if they know. They can’t know, ever. Not
just for you, don’t forget. If they have any information of your whereabouts,
it will make them a target.”
“What about you?”
“It’s my choice.”
And besides, TC thought. I already owe you my life and my career.
“You know that you have to do this Gibbs,” TC pressed. “You can’t just
throw away your life when there’s another choice and there is, as unpalatable
as it might seem right now.”
It was a very long minute later that Gibbs finally nodded and asked
simply, “How’s it going to happen?”
TC breathed a slow sigh of relief. He hadn’t been at all sure that he
could convince Gibbs to go through with this. That he had,
was something of a miracle. He offered a faint smile and answered, “Very
carefully.”
Gibbs snorted, but didn’t look at all amused.
* * * *
All three of Gibbs’ ex-wives were present at the funeral and they were all teary eyed, though not openly crying. The funeral was attended by an estimated hundred and fifty people, mostly military and law enforcement, and two separate news crews attended to make a report on the loss of one of the best NCIS had to offer. The flag went to Ducky, as Gibbs’ oldest and dearest friend, and none of the women begrudged the sober-faced man the honor, Kate at his side. The Honor Guard performed the traditional salute and there were bagpipes playing the traditional Amazing Grace. All in all, it was a spectacular funeral.
The only thing that Tony saw through the whole thing was the hole in the ground and the casket over it. There was no body inside, just the body-weight of rocks, but he and the team were the only ones who knew it. An ‘explanation’ was given to everyone else for the closed casket saying that a bullet had caused too much damage to Gibbs’ face for reconstruction. The real explanation was that the hospital had screwed up and cremated his remains as bio-hazard.
Something, Tony knew, that Gibbs would have laughed his ass off about, had he known.
He’d woken in the hospital the day after Gibbs’ death and felt empty inside. He still felt that, down to the depths of his tattered soul, but he was at least calm about it now. No sedatives or sleeping aids were needed. He didn’t dream or have nightmares about Gibbs’ death. There was nothing that caught his attention or interested him even remotely. He was going through the motions of living, and didn’t even care that he had another forty or fifty years of it.
The reading of Gibbs’ will was something of a surprise, though. Gathered in the modest lawyer’s office, a long-time retired JAG friend of Gibbs,’ with the rest of the team and the three ex-wives, Tony found himself the new owner of a house and contents, which included, of course, the partially finished, impossible to remove, boat. The pension and death benefits were split evenly between the ex-wives for, ‘putting up with my bullshit for far too long. The seven-iron, baseball bat, and dishes aimed at my thick skull were all well-deserved.’ Abby got all of Gibbs’ medals and commendations. Ducky got his collection of nautical books, some of which were antiques. Kate got his weapons collection, which was very extensive; far more so than any of them had realized.
“He wasn’t paranoid, he was a collector,” Ducky insisted when the last weapon had been rattled off by the lawyer.
Tony’s lips quirked in the first approximation of a smile he’d had since Gibbs’ death at that, but it didn’t last.
McGee was shocked to find himself the recipient of Gibbs’ two sets of golf clubs, one of which was antique and the other a gift from Arnold Palmer.
“I-I-I didn’t know he really golfed,” McGee stammered. “How did he meet Mr. Palmer?”
Ducky smiled fondly and replied, “I’m afraid that Mr. Palmer had the misfortune of being on the links during an investigation. I do believe he gave Jethro the clubs just to get away.”
The laughter all around at that was equally as fond, even from the ex-wives, though Tony couldn’t make himself join in. What the hell was he going to do with a house and an unfinished boat?
Once the Will was taken care of and everyone stood to leave, the lawyer asked Tony to stay behind. Ignoring the worried looks that Kate and Ducky threw his way, Tony nodded and remained where he was while the others filtered out.
“Jethro wrote this for you,” the lawyer said, his eyes kind as he held out an envelope. “It was so strange, because he brought it in only two days before his death, as if he knew something might happen to him.”
Tony frowned at the information, but accepted the letter.
“He recommended that you read that in private,” the lawyer continued.
Nodding, Tony replied, “I will, thank you.”
Tucking it away in his suit pocket, Tony shook hands with the lawyer and left the office, not surprised to find Kate and Ducky both waiting for him in the hall.
“We’re all going to get a drink, you want to come?” Kate asked.
Tony shook his head. “No thanks. I’m just going to head home. I’ll see you all at work tomorrow.”
She lightly touched his arm and said, “Tony, you shouldn’t keep everything bottled up, it’ll only get worse.”
Offering her a wry smile, Tony replied, “I’m not keeping anything bottled up, Kate, honest. There’s nothing there to keep bottled up. I’ll see you both tomorrow.”
He felt their worried gazes on him the whole walk to the stairs, but ignored them. There wasn’t anything anyone could do, after all.
* * * *
Watching his own funeral was...surprisingly gratifying. Jethro knew that he’d pissed a lot of people off over the years, but he hadn’t realized that he’d made nearly that many friends, or at least had that many people who respected him enough to go to the funeral. The only thing about it that was driving him crazy was the sight of Tony, listless and without any spark of his usual energy. It was like the light inside had been completely extinguished and he was just going through the motions.
Things had gone down so fast at the hospital that he hadn’t even realized at first that it was time for his strategic exit. The shot had been real, the junkie probably a spook friend of Fornell’s, and he’d lost a lot of blood before being brought into surgery. He remembered everything Tony had said to him, the look on his face when he’d thought Jethro was really dying, and it twisted in his gut like a knife dipped in acid.
What a way to find out someone’s in love with you, he thought for the hundredth time with a sigh as he shifted uncomfortably in the narrow bed.
The weather had been
cooperative for the last few days and he’d been docked in
He wanted to find a way to let Tony know that he was alive and all right, but couldn’t think of one. They didn’t have some code that no one else would be able to figure out. There was no secret meeting spot. No magical bond existed between them to let Tony know that he was okay. There wasn’t even any contact between himself and Fornell. Not since the other man had said goodbye to him at the hospital back exit the day after he’d been shot. Fornell had arranged for his ID, the boat, and a bank account filled with enough to get him started somewhere else.
There wasn’t, unfortunately, anything he could about anything until he was in better shape. Resigned to that, at least temporarily, Jethro turned off the television and closed his eyes, letting the ocean’s steady movement sooth him into sleep.