When the door shuts, don't worry about me,

it's not attention that I want from you.

I need you to trust who I'm going to be,

and in everything I'm going to do.

When the door shuts, it shuts finally,

a new person that I have become.

I follow my heart, to my destiny,

The living in fear and the sorrow is done.

--- Right Before Your Eyes, Hoobastank

"Come on, Clark, get a move on! The Prime Minister waits for no reporter. We have to sneak in before six or it's a no go!"

Clark grinned at Lois' order and grabbed his notebook and coat from his desk, hurrying after her. He stumbled a little on the steps out of the newsroom, which she caught and grinned at him for, catching up to her at the elevators.

"You know, for someone who grew up doing physical labor type stuff, you're a major klutz, Clark," she observed.

He shrugged, pushing his glasses up his nose with his middle finger.

"Oh, very mature."

Clark's laugh was muffled as he pulled on his coat.

"Clark, it's barely even cold out," Lois complained. "You're going to get spotted wearing all that crap."

"I blend," he protested.

"Yeah, right."

Changing the subject, Clark asked, "So why are you so hot to eavesdrop on the Prime Minister anyhow?"

Eyes rolling, Lois corrected, "Investigate, Clark, investigate."

"Euphemism, Lois, euphemism."

"Look, I heard a rumor that he was going to be meeting someone from Luthor Corp about an illegal dumping deal. Is that good enough for you? Catching Lionel Luthor with his pants down?"

Clark grinned fiercely and agreed, "Definitely!"

"I thought it would be. And I know you're hot to throw your almost father-in-law into the slammer, but try not to let your enthusiasm ruin this, okay?"

"Who, me?" Clark asked innocently.

Lois snorted. "Yeah, you."

* * * *

One of the worst parts of being an investigative journalist wasn't the bad hours, the negative vacation time, or the waiting, it was finding out things that you never wanted to know.

Shock rippled through Clark as he watched Lex and the Prime Minister talking with the ease of long familiarity.

"Well shit. I guess it wasn't Luthor Corp, after all," Lois muttered, also stunned.

How long had this been going on? What else was Lex up to that Clark had no idea about? Why was he doing this? Why had he betrayed everything, betrayed Clark, and for what? Sick to his stomach, Clark said softly, "I'm leaving."

Lois didn't try to stop him.

* * * *

Martha jumped in surprise when Clark suddenly appeared before her. The look on his face was one she was too well acquainted with, however, and her arms automatically opened for her son. Clark buried his face against her and shook in her embrace.

"Martha, was that Clark I just…" Jonathan's voice trailed off as he took in the sight of his son and wife. Fury flared through him, as one thought echoed in his mind: I'm going to kill Lex.

* * * *

"Well honey, don't you think you're jumping to conclusions?" Martha questioned carefully.

Clark shook his head. "I saw and heard him, Mom. He was making a dirty deal with the man. I thought I was going to throw up."

Sighing, Martha glanced at her husband, but knew even as she did so, that he was going to be no help. Not unless she wanted a Lex-skin rug on her kitchen floor, which she most certainly did not. "Clark, I think you should talk to Lex about this. Don't let surface appearances fool you. For all you know, he was doing his own investigation into this man."

That hadn't occurred to Clark and he frowned as he said, "It didn't look like it."

"You have to give Lex a chance to explain before you assume that he was up to no good," Martha insisted gently. "You don't really know what you saw and heard, Clark, eavesdroppers seldom do."

A faint grin crossed Clark's face and he corrected, "Investigator, Mom."

"A rose by any other name."

Feeling better, and a little ashamed of himself now that he really thought about it, Clark agreed, "You're right. I know Lex wouldn't do something like this, he's changed. Something else must be going on."

"Good. Now go home."

Clark got to his feet and bent to hug and kiss her, before hugging his father and saying, "Don't get out the shotgun just yet, Dad."

"I'll keep it warm," Jonathan promised, only a little serious.

Smiling, Clark squeezed his shoulder and said, "Thanks, Dad."

Then he was gone and they were alone again.

Martha sighed and looked at Jonathan with worry. "What do you think is going on?"

Grim, Jonathan answered, "I know what I hope isn't going on."

"Me, too."

* * * *

Lounging on the sofa, Clark waited for Lex to get home. There had been a message on his cell phone that Lex would be late due to an unexpected meeting. That had been a couple of hours ago, though, so Lex would be back any minute. Clark had been nervously planning what to say, or trying to, without success. He shouldn't accuse, he should ask. Maybe just lead into it gently by mentioning that he and Lois had a new investigation on the burner.

The door opened and Lex was suddenly very much there. He looked a little harried, but the expression changed upon finding Clark on the couch. A smile graced his lips and he exclaimed, "Clark! You didn't have to wait for me. I know you've got an early class tomorrow."

Shrugging, Clark straightened to meet Lex halfway as the other man leaned down for a lingering kiss. And even though his heart was in turmoil, Clark couldn't help but respond, opening his mouth to the questing tongue. When Lex pulled back, Clark said, "I really wanted to see you tonight."

With a heavy sigh, Lex collapsed beside him and stretched out, his bare head cushioned on Clark's thighs as he agreed, "Same here. What a bitch of a day."

"Oh? What happened?" Clark asked quietly.

"Meeting after meeting after meeting. You know…"

Clark listened as Lex went on about stockholders and profit margins and quarterly reports, new potential mergers and companies that might or might not remain partners with LexCorp. Not a single mention of the Prime Minister as Lex finally ran out of steam, his eyes closing with a content smile as Clark massaged his temples.

"So nothing new happened today?"

Grinning, Lex's eyes opened and he teased, "You didn't hear a word I just said, did you? Some reporter."

Which was the perfect opportunity for Clark to mention his new story. It was the opening he needed to broach the subject of Lex's secret meeting. But Clark couldn't get the words out of his mouth. Staring into the loving slate-blue eyes, he literally couldn't speak, either in accusation or question.

Lex frowned, concerned, and asked, "Clark? Everything okay?"

Forcing a smile, Clark nodded. "I'm fine. And I'm sorry if I spaced a little, it was a long day for me, too."

"That's okay. I know business isn't exactly your cup of tea," Lex said easily.

"So what was the emergency meeting tonight?"

There was no increase in respiration and pulse, not even the barest hint of hesitation as Lex replied, "Just an old friend who was looking for some business advice, nothing to worry about after all. But he insisted on drinks after to thank me for my time. That's why I'm so late."

Bitter disappointment ran through Clark at the deceit that was so easily told, but he concealed it as best he could. "Well good, I'm glad that nothing's wrong."

"Nope, not a thing. Especially here with you."

Lex's sweetly lying lips touched Clark's and he was helpless to resist their siren song.

* * * *

It was surprising just how easy it was for Clark to follow Lex without the other man even realizing that it was happening. Any guilt that he'd felt upon first doing so was quickly outstripped when he saw just how far Lex had sunk back into his father's world. There were meetings with underworld figures, meetings with drug dealers and weapons merchants.

Over the course of the week, the only thing that Clark didn't witness was an actual purchase of any illegal items. It seemed as though Lex was merely doing his homework and seeing which players were doing what since his last foray into the underbelly of Metropolis.

Every night, Clark would ask Lex about his day and the lies spilled out without hesitation from the other man. Stories about stockholders meetings and employees. A few evasions when Clark tried to pin him down for a midday get-together. Every night, Clark's soul twisted a little more as he watched his other half blithely go on as if nothing foul had tainted them.

By the time Friday arrived, Clark was ready to do something rash but kept himself firmly in check. Instead, he pulled Lois aside and told her everything. When he was done, she looked faintly sick, as though unable to believe that what Clark had said was true.

"Are you sure, Clark? You're not exactly the, ah, subtlest when it comes to tailing someone," Lois pointed out.

Clark arched an eyebrow at her. "So you're saying that he saw me and decided to take me on a tour of who's who in the ranks of Metropolis slime?"

"Right. That would be stupid. And one thing Lex Luthor isn't…"

"Is stupid," Clark finished for her.

Frowning, she asked, "So what's his game? Why's he suddenly pull a 180?"

His soul twisted further as Clark suggested, "What if he never really meant to go straight? What if Lucas was right and Lex was only doing all this for a cover? To get himself above suspicion while his father and brother drew the feds away from him?"

"I don't know, Clark," Lois said doubtfully. "That seems a little far-reaching, even for Lex."

That's when he told her about the Nicodemus plant and Dr. Hamilton. About the investigation into his own family after Clark had fished Lex out of the river. About Level3 that Lex supposedly hadn't known anything about. About suspecting Lex had been behind his mother and Lex's father's kidnapping in the Luthor Corp tower.

Leaning weakly against the wall, Lois ran a hand through her dark hair and stared at him in disbelief. "Cripes, Clark. You sure know how to pick them, don't you?"

Miserable, Clark nodded and agreed, "I know."

"So what do you want to do?" she asked after a short silence.

Swallowing hard, Clark lifted his head resolutely, his chin jutting out as he replied, "I want to nail him to the wall, Lois. I told Lex, I warned him when he came back into my life, that if I caught him doing anything illegal, I wouldn't hesitate to have him arrested."

Lois' jaw gaped open for a second before she regained her composure. Sighing explosively, she repeated, "You sure know how to pick them."

* * * *

Lex sighed deeply, content with his world and loving the dark haired man in it. Clark had taken to surprising him with little gifts since his kidnapping and Lex smiled at the first offering that he was still savoring: a fine, old bottle of cognac. The note had been short and sweet, Drink of this and think of me, Clark. Which, of course, he would. The choice was a little odd given Clark's gift giving generally ran towards books or trinkets, but Lex was definitely enjoying it.

"Mr. Luthor, your father is here."

Sighing again, this time in aggravation, Lex straightened and set the glass on the desk. "Send him in."

Lionel was smiling as he entered and greeted, "Lex, son, how are you?"

Which instantly put Lex on his guard as he replied, "Fine, Dad, you?"

"As well as can be expected," Lionel returned, sitting in front of the desk. He glanced at the mostly empty lead-crystal glass and commented, "Drinking in the middle of the day? What would Clark say?"

"It's a gift from Clark, not that it's any of your business."

"Of course, of course," Lionel agreed with a faint smile.

His head was already throbbing a dull ache as he asked, "What can I do for you, Dad?"

"Nothing, I just thought we might chat."

"Chat?"

"Isn't that what fathers and sons do?"

Frowning through the headache, Lex confirmed, "I've heard that rumor."

"Are you all right, Lex? You don't look very well," Lionel observed, leaning forward.

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Lex said, "I'm fine, just a headache."

Lionel shrugged. "Perhaps you shouldn't have indulged so much."

"I didn't indulge. For God's sake, I haven't even had half a glass," Lex snapped.

Which was a mistake, because it set his head to throbbing even worse. He was going to have to see a doctor with the amount of times they'd been showing up, but he knew the response would be Post Traumatic Stress. There wasn't really anything that anyone could do about it except for himself, and he wasn't ready to talk to a shrink just yet.

Getting to his feet, Lionel moved towards him and said, "I have just the remedy for that."

Lex held a hand up to stop him. "I don't think so, Dad."

"Fine. Suffer."

Lex glared at him, but the force was definitely not there, and even he knew it. Closing his eyes, he muttered, "Just give me a second to close my eyes."

* * * *

Clark watched as Lex and his father left LexCorp side by side. They were talking animatedly about something, but he was too sickened by the sight to even try listening in.

"God. I almost didn't believe you, Clark," Lois whispered. "Didn't want to."

Grim, Clark agreed, "I know."

She started the car and pulled into traffic behind the limo. It was late afternoon, so rush hour traffic was starting to pick up as people began heading home from work. Lois had no trouble blending in with the other commuters and still keeping the limo in sight. It stopped in front of an expensive downtown restaurant that Lex had once told him was a front for the Russian Mafia.

"Cripes. Is he in bed with the Russian mob now?"

"Please don't use phrases like that," Clark asked, pained.

Lois grimaced. "Sorry, Clark."

Shrugging, he prompted, "You have the mike?"

She reached into the back seat and pulled out a dufflebag, yanking a directional mike out and setting it up. Lois offered the headset to Clark first, but he shook his head, crossing his arms over his chest and staring through the bay windows to where Lex and his father were greeting a group of men in dark suits. It all looked very respectable, but Clark knew what he would find if he opened his hearing.

For a minute he did, just to be sure.

"Rashoff! It's good to see you," Lex greeted a heavyset man with gray hair and eyes.

Rashoff grinned and replied, "You as well, my friend. Congratulations on your very clever ruse with the reporter."

The smirk on Lex's face drove a spike into Clark's heart, as did the words, "Thanks. As covers go, it's pretty sweet."

"I'll bet," the Russian agreed with a leer.

Sickened, Clark shut out the rest of the conversation and closed his eyes.

* * * *

"Clark, hey Clark, wake up."

Groggy, Clark rubbed his eyes and yawned. Finally focusing on Lois' face, he asked, "Are they done?"

She nodded and said, "They just left."

"Did you get everything on tape?"

"Yeah. Clark, are you sure about this? What about if you talked to Lex before we went to the cops?"

"We're not going to the cops. Not just yet."

"Excuse me?"

Clark stared out the window for a moment, watching the brake lights of the cars as they stopped at the intersection in front. It had started raining while he slept, which subconsciously he'd incorporated into the dream about being back in his room on the farm, listening to the comforting drone of rain on the roof. The pavement was black and slick, reflecting the hard city back at itself.

Finally, he said, "I was alone my whole life, Lois, until Lex came into it. Chloe and Pete are my best friends, but they still don't know me, don't really get me, you know? Lex did, does. He totally got me right off the bat, without even trying. And I understood him, too. It worked both ways so easily. He's using that knowledge against me, to keep me in a complacent lull while he hunts the city with his father again. I can't let him do that, can't let him get away with it, and I won't."

"So you're going to use your knowledge of him to trap him," Lois said slowly.

Clark nodded without hesitation. "I have to. There's more at stake here than my heart, far more. If Lex and his father really get going, it's a safe bet that the world itself is at risk."

"So what's the next move?"

"The next move? Keep watching for now. Be there when he makes a mistake. Then I'm going to take him down."

Sighing, Lois reached over and gripped his shoulder. "I'm sorry it turned out like this, Clark, really sorry."

Though he tried to keep the bitterness from his voice, Clark knew he was unsuccessful as he answered, "It's no one's fault but Lex's."

* * * *

"Hi guys."

They both looked over at Lex and Lois got to her feet, an antagonistic expression visible as she said, "If you'll excuse me, I have to be somewhere else."

Pursing his lips in a soft moue of confusion, Lex stared after her then asked, "Was it something I said?"

Clark shrugged and covered, "We're having some…communication problems."

"Oh. Well, I came over to tempt you into a surprise dinner," Lex announced.

Neatly avoiding the hand that aimed for his should by getting to his feet, Clark declined, "I can't, Lex, there's a lot I need to get done tonight. I'm going to be swamped the rest of the weekend with papers and a couple of investigations that Lois and I are working on."

For a long minute, Lex didn't speak. Gathering his thoughts, he finally said, "Of course. I shouldn't have just assumed that you'd be available. Give me a call when and if you're free to get together."

Lex hadn't gone more than a few steps before Clark caught up to him, a hand on the other man's arm. "Lex, wait, I'm sorry."

Appraising him coolly, Lex questioned, "You want to tell me what's really going on?"

Clark sighed, wondering what on earth he could possibly say. It was on one thing to be investigating Lex and another thing to lie about it. He wasn't good at that, it was just a fact of life. Anything he said, Lex would know was a lie. "Lex, I…"

"That's what I thought. So much for no more secrets between us. Call me when you're ready to talk, Clark."

This time, Clark didn't stop him from leaving.

* * * *

His heart beating like a thunderstorm in August, Lex made it out of The Daily Planet by sheer luck. He certainly wasn't paying attention to where he was going, not with his thoughts in such chaos and his stomach in his throat. He didn't acknowledge David as the man held open the car door, just collapsed on the back seat, shaking.

It had been years since Lex had seen that look in Clark's eyes. The look of ill-hidden betrayal and distrust mixed with resignation and helplessness. Not since he'd left Smallville the first time. But what had brought it about this time? What did Clark think he'd done? And why didn't he just demanded to know what was going on like he always did?

Feeling nauseous, he touched the intercom and said, "The airport, David."

David's startled voice agreed, "Yes, sir. Will I be returning for Mr. Kent?"

Swallowing heavily, Lex barely managed to say, "No."

* * * *

"You look like you need a drink."

Clark gave Chloe a watery smile and said, "I probably could use one."

"Now I know the end of the world is here," she teased gently. Sitting beside him on the student union couch, she took his hand. "What happened?"

"Lex and I broke up today," Clark whispered, agony running through him as he ran the encounter with Lex through his mind for the hundredth time. It was the right thing to do, he knew it was, so why did it feel like he was being torn apart from the inside out? Lex had gone back to his roots, was probably even now partying with his father and some underworld criminal. Maybe he'd actually gone to Russia with Rashoff.

Astonishment blazed across Chloe's face as she exclaimed, "What? How? When did it happen? Are you all right? Of course you're not all right, look at you! God, Clark, what happened?"

So Clark told her everything. He finished with, "When I called the penthouse, David told me that Lex was out of the country and wouldn't be back for a couple of months."

"Go after him."

Startled, Clark asked, "What?"

She punched his shoulder hard and ordered, "Go after him, Clark! Right now. Drop everything, including your suspicions, and find him."

"Chloe, I can't do that!" Clark protested.

"Why not?"

"Because there's a lot of people depending on me, for one."

"Screw 'em. One night isn't going to hurt."

"I don't know where he is for another."

"Bullshit. You can home in on him from anywhere in a five-hundred mile radius since the kidnapping last month."

"How about the fact that he's taken up with his father again, resorted to being a criminal mastermind?"

Groaning in frustration, Chloe shoved him hard enough that his head knocked into the wall.

"Ow! What was that for?" Clark demanded.

"For being a complete moron," she snapped. "Did you ever think about this from his point of view? One minute everything is fine between you and then boom! You treat him like a criminal without even telling him what the problem is. Of course he's going to take off!"

Open-mouthed, he asked, "You're taking his side? You didn't see…"

"You don't know what you saw, Clark. Given the bizarre nature of everything we encounter, it could range from a clone to an android to someone hypnotizing Lex into doing something evil without him even knowing it! Not to mention the completely mundane possibility that maybe the Feds asked him to do a little undercover work for them?"

"Lex wouldn't do that without telling me."

"If it protected you, he would."

Snorting, trying to keep his walls up, Clark said derisively, "Nothing hurts me, Chloe, you know that and so does Lex."

"Not quite nothing," she countered. "And apparently someone else knows it, too, or why was Lucas demanding it as ransom?"

Clark hesitated. All of what Chloe had just said was perfectly true. Lex would do anything to protect him, even if it meant submerging himself back into the darkness of Lionel Luthor's universe. Wondering how he could have so completely fucked up, Clark groaned and got to his feet. "Thanks, Chloe."

Worried, she said, "Just find him, Clark. If he thinks that you don't believe in him, don't love him, there's no telling what he'll do."

* * * *

Lex was really, really, really, really drunk and knew it. Unfortunately, it didn't seem to be helping the pain that was clogging his throat. Fortunately, he was in his own house and didn't have to worry about doing something stupid like trying to drive or trying to fuck his way through the pain, as had been his habit since discovering sex.

He'd remained clear-headed on the way across the ocean, just staring blankly out the window at the night sky. When he got off in Heathrow, Lex had headed for the nearest men's room and pulled a wig out of his carry-on bag. From there, he'd gone to a ticket counter and used a fake passport to buy a ticket to Dublin.

Of all the cities in the world that Clark would look for him, and Lex knew that he would, Dublin wouldn't make the list. It was too quiet compared to the excitement of New York or Paris. All cities had their scenes, of course, but some were a little more refined than others. Whenever Lex was really hurting, he retreated to the country least likely to be thought of in the context of Lex Luthor.

The drinking had started on the trip from Heathrow to Dublin, but Lex had remained relatively sober until reaching his estate. It was a recent purchase, the lead-lined house built only four years ago. There was no way to trace it to the name of Luthor and he always wore the red wig when he visited. So far as his neighbors knew, he was Simon Simple, an eccentric American who'd traced his family heritage back to this plot.

He still wasn't sure if his perceived eccentricity was due to his status of being rich, being American, or the combination. They were friendly enough, though, and he always enjoyed the peace and quiet of not being a Luthor during his stay.

"Dear Lord, and would you look at that?"

Blearily raising his eyes at Jean's voice, Lex asked, "Look at what?"

The dark haired, blue-eyed, older man shook his head as he came forward and stated, "You. You're well past three sheets to the wind, Simon."

"I was hoping to lose the whole bed," Lex muttered.

Strong hands gripped under Lex's shoulders and hauled him up. That was when he realized that he was flat on the floor and tried to help the other man get him onto the couch. Settling awkwardly, he gripped a pillow to his stomach and curled around it. The couch dipped and a solid hand, so much like Clark's, rested on his back as Jean asked, "What's wrong?"

Hot tears slipped from his control and he cursed himself as well as the alcohol for the weakness as he shook and asked, "Why doesn't he love me, Jean? What happened? Why doesn't…I can't…help me, please?"

"Oh, Simon," Jean sighed, stroking his back. "It'll be all right, lad, just get it out."

It wasn't as if Lex had any choice in the matter, because the storm just would not be denied any longer.

* * * *

"Where is he, Kent?"

Clark stiffened at Lionel's demand and glanced up at the older man glaring at him from less than a foot away. At least he didn't stop in to the Planet to make a scene, Clark thought with grim relief. Though come to think of it, Mr. White would probably enjoy the chance to tear personally into Lionel. Clark himself was having just that difficulty as he ground out, "I don't know."

Lionel's ever-present cane tapped the floor angrily as Lionel snapped, "You're lying. Where is he?"

"As much as I would like to be lying to you, Lionel, I'm not. Lex and I had a fight a few days ago and he disappeared," Clark informed him. "I've been trying to track him down, ever since."

A smirk appeared and Lionel observed, "First sensible thing Lex has done in years."

Visualizing himself tearing Lionel apart limb from bloody limb, Clark replied evenly, "Don't get used to it. As soon as I find Lex, we're going to work through this."

"Not if I get to him first, you won't."

Clark snarled wordlessly at the threat and actually made a move towards Lionel, who flinched and stepped back. Barely hanging onto his control, he ordered, "I suggest you leave, before I send you packing."

Giving him a long, measuring look, Lionel commented, "I may have underestimated you, Clark. But don't worry, it won't happen again."

Shit! Clark thought as the older man walked away. By losing his temper, he had just shown Lionel a little of what he was made of, if not what he could do to back it up. Sinking back into the battered sofa, Clark rearranged himself on it with his books.

Not that he was studying, but he was at least giving the appearance that he was instead of staring blankly into space. He couldn't remain in his room another moment, the small room practically claustrophobic. Clark had spent the time since Lex's disappearance scouring the major world cities. He'd been to New York, Paris, London, Lisbon, Geneva, Madrid, Washington DC, Los Angeles, San Francisco, Tokyo and Hong Kong. Wherever Lex was hiding, it wasn't among his old haunts.

Using their own contacts and skills, Lois and Chloe had also attempted to track down the errant man. It had been the first time the women had spoken since Lois had scooped Chloe out of Lex's kidnapping story. Clark hadn't even cared if they killed each other after, so long as they worked together long enough to find Lex and had told them both that, explicitly.

His cell phone rang and Clark grabbed it with, "Hello?"

"Ah, hello. I'm sorry t'be botherin' you, whoever you are, but I'm looking for a friend of Simon's?"

Frowning, Clark said, "I'm sorry, I don't know anyone named Simon."

There was a heavy sigh. "Damn it. Are you sure? You were number one on the speed dial."

A flush ran through Clark as he asked, "Simon wouldn't happen to be 28, with blue eyes and bald by any chance?"

"Well, you've got the age and the eye color right, but hang on." The voice returned after a couple of minutes with, "Well bugger me. He is bald."

Clark sighed in shaky relief. "Thank God. I've been looking for him for days! Where is he?"

"Dublin, well, just outside the city," the man replied. "And what's your name?"

That explained why Clark hadn't been able to find him. "Clark Kent. You?"

"Jean McCardle, a neighbor."

"Thank you so much for calling, Jean," Clark said gratefully. "Is he all right?"

"He's passed out right now, but was sobbing a storm before doing so."

Sobbing a storm? Guilt twisted Clark's insides as he said, "Don't tell him I'm coming, because he'll just disappear on me."

"Are you his, ah, lover?"

"Yes."

"Good. Because I've got a piece of my mind I'd like to give to you! What on earth did you do to Simon?"

"You can do it a lot better in person," Clark assured him. "I'll be leaving in the morning, which would put me in Dublin, um, probably in about two days I guess? Is there a home number that I can reach you at?"

* * * *

Though it would have been much, much faster to just fly to Lex himself, Clark knew that it would leave too many unanswered questions. So he put in for leave at the Planet, told Lois and Chloe what was going on, called his parents with the update and wrote up a letter withdrawing from school for the remainder of the semester. He would have to go to school during the summer to graduate with Pete and Chloe, but that wasn't something he could really think about. He had to concentrate on Lex.

He called Jean before leaving New York to let the man know he was on the last leg and find out how Lex was doing. Clark also warned him that Lex's father might get there ahead of him and that the two weren't on good terms. If he implied that Lionel might get violent with Lex, it was only to make sure that Jean would bar Lionel entry until Clark could get there. He not only appreciated Jean's protective streak, he understood it. There was something about Lex that suggested a hurt vulnerability beneath the confidence.

Though Lex himself would be appalled to hear himself described that way.

Exhausted, travel dirty, and on edge, Clark nonetheless waved to the cabbie who dropped him off as the tiny car made its way from the drive. The house was small for Lex, only slightly bigger than the Kent's farmhouse, if in a completely different style. Clark immediately liked the layout, even if the shielding put him on edge.

"Clark?"

Looking towards Jean, Clark found a man who matched his voice walking towards him. Clark nodded and offered a tired smile as well as his hand. "Jean, hello."

They shook hands and Jean said, "Lex is pretty sick. Poisoned himself good with a second round of alcohol before I found him this morning."

Alarmed, Clark demanded, "Is he going to be all right?"

Jean nodded and answered, "He'll be fine. His stomach was pumped and he's resting comfortably in his own bed, where he insisted that he be taken. Said that hospitals weren't conducive to resting."

Clark snorted. "Sounds like Lex. Has his father shown up?"

"Not as yet, no. Are you sure he will?"

"I hope not," Clark muttered. "It's the last thing he needs right now."

"I'm still not sure that he even needs you at this point."

Wincing at the barbed comment, Clark said, "I can see where you'd think that, and I don't blame you a bit. But he's…everything to me, Jean. We need to work this through or neither of us will be any good for anything."

Jean eyed him a moment longer, then nodded. "All right then. Just be sure you don't muck it up again."

"I'll try not to," Clark promised sincerely.

Holding out a key, Jean offered, "Good luck."

"Thanks."

Clark shouldered his bag and walked up the path to the front door.

* * * *

It was such a nice dream, especially after the horror of having his stomach pumped for the first time in a decade. He'd forgotten how disgusting and debilitating it was and renewed his vow never to go through it again. Lex figured that breaking that promise only once in a decade wasn't too bad.

Sighing in deep contentment at the imagined feel of Clark's arms around him, Lex snuggled closer and breathed in that spicy scent that always managed to calm him. There was something healing about being surrounded by his best friend, even if it was a figment of a hallucinogenic mind. Dream Clark was whispering things like, "I'm sorry," and, "I love you," and "Please forgive me," as his hand gently rubbed Lex's back.

Tears pricked at his eyes and he fervently wished that he could stop the damn water works as he clung to the broad chest and murmured, "Wish you were really here, Clark, love you, too."

"I am, Lex, I'm really here."

The fog that had gripped his mind the last few days refused to dissipate, but he was suddenly aware that he wasn't dreaming. His eyes opened and they met with Clark's intensely sad green-gold ones. His heart stuttered and he gasped, "You're here?"

Clark nodded. "I'm here."

Wishing that he had enough steam to shove Clark away and scream at him, Lex could only stare at the other man with all the pain in his heart.

Flinching, Clark whispered, "I'm so sorry, Lex, so sorry. I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions like I did. I should have trusted you, talked to you about it."

"Talked to me about what?" Lex demanded, frustrated. "What do you think I did that would cause this kind of, of havoc between us?"

"I saw you, heard you with the Prime Minister, and the Russian mafia and, and so many criminals last week. Lois and I both did."

Bewildered, Lex said, "I'm still lost, Clark. I have no idea what you're talking about."

Clark frowned and said, "Last week. When you said that you had a late night meeting with your friend and he bought you drinks after."

"Right. And that's exactly what I did," Lex replied firmly. "We were at the Plaza until about eight thirty, then I went straight home and found you there."

The frown deepened as Clark shook his head. "It was you, Lex, I'd swear to it on a stack of bibles."

"Then it must be true."

Instead of getting defensive at Lex's mostly snide comment, Clark gave him a self-deprecating smile. "How do you explain it, Lex? I know it was you, but you say you weren't there."

"And I'm the liar, right?" Lex asked coolly, even if it was very difficult to remain cool when wrapped in almost two hundred pounds of a strange, puppy-version of Superman.

"No, I believe you. But something weird is going on. Have you done anything unusual in the last couple of weeks? Seen anyone who might have drugged or hypnotized you?"

Though he hated it, there was only one person who fit that category. He had been feeling off his game since the kidnapping, but he hadn't wanted to say anything, afraid that it would be taken as a sign of weakness. Even though Clark didn't view him along the lines of strength and weakness, there were certain things that were expected of men in general.

"You've thought of something," Clark said softly.

Grimacing, Lex said, "I hate it that you can read me so easily."

Sadness returned to Clark's eyes as he murmured, "Not easily enough."

"Clark, don't. If I'd seen what you did, I'd have thought the exact same thing," Lex assured him, cupping the other man's face.

Clark's voice was filled with self-loathing. "I should have known better, Lex! I know you, I know that you'd never do anything like that ever again!"

"Obviously I did," Lex pointed out, giving them both the dubious shelter of logic. "Even if I was under some kind of influence at the time."

"What are you thinking?"

"Lucas. When he had me. He must have done something to me when I was unconscious," Lex replied uncomfortably.

Clark briefly tightened his arms around Lex and kissed his forehead. "Go on."

Lex sighed shakily and admitted, "I don't remember much of it. The Feds told me that Lucas had me for several hours, but I only recall approximately a half-hour of it before you rescued me."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

Though he appreciated the carefully neutral tone of Clark's voice, Lex couldn't help but hear an accusation in the question and stiffened. "It was…difficult. I didn't tell anyone except the prosecution and the Feds."

Clark's hands started rubbing his back again as he mused, "So something probably happened while Lucas had you."

"Yeah," Lex agreed, relaxing under the soothing touch. God, he was tired. All he really wanted was to sleep knowing that he was safe.

As though divining that thought, Clark said, "The problem will still be here in the morning. Why don't we sleep on it?"

Nodding, Lex yawned and sighed deeply, feeling even more secure when Clark brought him into an almost too-tight embrace, twining legs together and locking his arms around Lex. He vaguely thought to tell Clark about the odd haze to his thoughts, but sleep was too insistent now that his body and heart were comfortable for the first time in almost a week.

* * * *

Clark woke the next morning in the exact same position as when he'd fallen asleep. Which was to say, utterly twined around Lex. Lex was sound asleep and curled close, trusting and drooling just a little; completely adorable and gross at the same time. The main difference between last night and that morning, were the erections that Clark felt. His own, which felt harder than a rock and ready to explode, and Lex's, lying heavy and hot against Clark's thigh.

Groaning softly, Clark tried to shift away, but Lex murmured a protest and shifted with him. Need was tight in his balls, aching to come, his cock desperate for more than the callous 'taking care of business' his own hands had always managed. All he wanted to do was take Lex's mouth and then push him over, rubbing their cocks together until they both exploded.

Lex mumbled something unintelligible and licked Clark's throat. Unable to stop it, Clark moaned at the hot, wet slick across his skin.

Lex froze in his arms, waking almost instantly at the sound. "Clark?"

"Yeah?" Clark answered, voice strangled.

"Uh, was that...did you just moan?"

"I think that's the right response when you lick me."

"I licked you?"

"Uh, yeah."

Lex rolled them over so that he was on top and grinning down at Clark. "Thank God for my Id."

Before Clark could form a response, Lex seized his mouth in a deep, almost savage kiss. Clark moaned again, the sound startlingly loud in the morning quiet, and opened his mouth, welcoming the onslaught. They'd been dancing around this for months, years really, and he was tired of waiting.

Hooking a leg around Lex's waist produced a gasp from his lover. Using his leg to bring Lex flush against him provoked a groan. Loving both noises, Clark rolled them over again and started rubbing hard against Lex's cock. The boxers were annoying and in the way and Clark ripped both sets off.

"Fuck!" Lex exclaimed in surprise.

Clark met his hot gaze with a slow grin. "I'll have to remember that."

In answer, Lex grasped Clark's face between his hands and ordered, "Just keep doing what you were doing, farm boy."

"Yes, sir," Clark quipped wickedly.

He stopped Lex's irritated reply by sealing their mouths together again and rubbing bare flesh to bare flesh. Pre-come leaked from them both, making the slide all the easier, all the hotter. Clark couldn't get enough of the sensations; Lex's mouth, still tasting of sleep, the friction of their cocks bumping and grinding, Lex's hands sliding roughly up and down his back.

Panting into Lex's mouth, Clark suddenly didn't know which way was up, everything overwhelming him as his cock hardened even further and then exploded. Lex devoured his shout of release and repaid him in kind, clutching Clark's ass hard enough to bruise, if only it was possible for him to do so.

Clark collapsed onto Lex, his heart thundering and his body still achy from the orgasm, feeling strangely sensitive everywhere, but especially his cock.

"Clark, not to ruin the afterglow, but move. You're heavy," Lex panted beneath him.

Immediately, Clark rolled them so that he was on the bottom, cradling Lex in his arms. He sighed deeply, his heart coming back to normal enough for him to ask, "Uh, that was sex, right?"

"Oh, yeah," Lex confirmed, struggling with his own breathing and a goofy grin. Goofy grins were definitely not dignified. Though at the moment, he didn't really give a flying fuck about dignity. "Definitely sex in my book."

"Okay, then. Just checking."

Lex chuckled and rested his head on the sculpted chest beneath him. "There's a lot more where that came from, too."

"Oh, God. You're trying to kill me, right?"

Laughing out loud, Lex assured him, "You're in too great a shape for me to kill you."

"Good to know."

There was a long, comfortable silence until Clark asked with interest, "So…what else is there to do?"

Lex laughed again and said, "Patience, grasshopper. Some of us have to have a little recuperation time."

Clark's sigh was disappointed and loving all at the same time. Lex's grin broadened as he closed his eyes and snuggled as close as he could.

* * * *

Moving easily around the kitchen as he prepared breakfast, Clark heard the front door open and identified Jean's entry. He glanced at Lex and warned with a grin, "Jean's here."

Lex looked up from his paper and over to the kitchen entryway just as Jean arrived. He smiled and put the paper down, greeting his friend, "Good morning, Jean."

"You're lookin' a damn sight better," Jean replied with a grin. He took a seat at the table and said, "Glad to see you two made up. Lex."

"Sorry about that, Jean, I wasn't trying to deceive you, just…"

"Have some privacy, I understand."

"Thank you."

"Anytime. Though I'll probably forget and keep calling you Simon. And that head of yours is a bit of a shock, I don't mind saying."

Lex laughed and said to Clark, "He's a lot like you, Clark, not a diplomatic bone in his body."

"Hey!"

"Excuse me?"

Chuckling at the two indignant expressions, Lex got up and joined Clark at the stove, sliding an arm around his lover's waist. "I thought you were making breakfast?"

Clark looked at the frying pan in his hand and snorted at himself. "I am. Join us?"

Jean nodded. "Don't mind if I do."

But Clark heard a car pull up outside the house and frowned until Lionel Luthor's voice came clear giving instructions to the driver. A scowl replaced the frown and he leaned down to Lex and growled, "Lionel's here."

"Clark, the pan," Lex murmured.

Startled, Clark looked at the pan to find that he'd accidentally crushed the handle. Fortunately, Jean wasn't paying any attention, so he shoved it into the sink and started running water and soap to cover it up.

The opening and closing of the door was audible to them all, and Jean looked up from the paper with a frown, glancing towards the entryway.

Lex draped a casual arm around Clark's waist, but Clark grinned and shook his head. He maneuvered them so that Lex was in front, with Clark's arms around his chest, just in time for Lionel's appearance. It was a possessive posture, Clark knew, but he couldn't help the need to flaunt their new status as actual lovers, especially not to Lionel.

"Hi, Dad. How's it going?"

Lionel took in their stance with a grimace. "Fine, Lex. Although I should be asking that of you, right now."

"I'm doing just wonderful, thank you so much for asking," Lex replied.

Clark heard the satisfied drawl to Lex's voice and didn't bother to hide his grin. He was the one who'd put it there, after all, and he always took pride in a job well done.

"We need to talk."

"Go ahead."

"Alone, Lex."

Lex eyed his father for a moment, then nodded and said, "All right. Clark, hold that thought about breakfast. We won't be long."

A little anxious, Clark asked, "Are you sure?"

Turning in his arms, Lex leaned up and kissed him, long and slow. "Very sure."

Clark flushed in response to the silky tone and cleared his throat as Lex gave him a wicked grin before turning towards his father and motioning for the other man to precede him.

"Well. I guess th'two of you really have made up," Jean observed, amused.

Flushing even more scarlet, Clark buried himself with fixing the pan in the sink, though it looked like he was washing it. Jean chuckled and returned to the paper. He glanced at the wall that separated the kitchen from the living room, and beyond, to the study.

* * * *

"Apparently I was mistaken as to the nature of your relationship with Clark until now," Lionel began, sitting on the leather sofa.

Lex shrugged. "Everyone made assumptions and we didn't care enough to correct them since eventually, it was going to be true anyhow."

"How have Martha and Jonathan handled the situation? I've seen some of the…less savory articles concerning your current relationship. I believe 'gold-digging bot-toy,' was among the least offensive."

"They've handled it the way they do everything; with grace and aplomb."

"Martha is a gracious woman, I wouldn't expect anything less from her."

With a faintly malicious grin, Lex replied, "And Jonathan's been like a father to me through everything."

"I'm sure. Be that as it may, you do still have a father of your own to think about."

Lex's gaze narrowed and he leaned against the desk. "Ah yes. How is the cancer, Dad?"

"There's been a miracle!"

"Do tell."

"I've gone into remission."

"I thought metastasized meant that wasn't possible," Lex commented dryly.

Lionel smiled broadly, holding out his hands and repeated, "It's a miracle."

"Somehow I doubt that God would waste the energy."

Getting to his feet, Lionel crossed to the bar and poured brandy into two glasses, then held one out to Lex. "Congratulate me on my new lease on life, Lex."

Lex swallowed, feeling somewhat nauseous at the thought of drinking any alcohol. "I don't think so, Dad, but I do wish you the best."

"A toast and one sip to at least pretend that you care. It won't kill you, will it?"

Chinking their glasses together, Lex was about to take a sip, a very minuscule one, when the door opened and Clark called, "Lex!"

Lex paused with the glass at his lips, seeing the warning in his lover's eyes. Lowering it, he asked, "Yes, Clark?"

"I ah, I need your help with something."

"This can't wait?" Lionel snapped.

Fixing Lionel with a stony glare that told Lex a lot more than what Clark hadn't yet said, Clark said, "No."

Lex shrugged and took the glass with him when he followed Clark out of the study, shutting the door behind him.

Once outside, Clark snatched the glass from him and spat, "He drugged it!"

"I was hoping that you'd see something I didn't," Lex sighed in relief. "I knew the old bastard wasn't here for his health or mine."

"What are you going to do?"

Lex thought about it for a long moment, then said, "Go get something to put some of this in. Quickly."

Clark vanished and returned in the blink of an eye and Lex jumped at his return. "I'm still not used to that."

"Neither are my parents," Clark informed him, echoing the grin and holding out a tupperware container.

Carefully pouring most of the liquid into the container, Lex said, "All right. Let's see what Dad's really up to."

Clark hauled him in for a hard, short kiss and ordered, "Be careful."

Lex shivered with erotic heat and observed, "I'm going to seriously enjoy unlocking your inner dom, Clark. A lot."

Frowning in confusion, Clark repeated, "Inner dom?"

"If you have to ask, then I don't have enough time to explain."

"Le-ex!"

Grinning at the near-pout, which was just too adorable for words, Lex winked and headed back into the study. Halfway back to his father, Lex 'accidentally' tripped and the glass went flying, the remainder of the liquid spilling onto the rug. "Damn it! That'll be impossible to get out."

Lionel only arched an eyebrow at him and said, "I think you've been spending too much time at the Kents' if you're starting to worry about things like that."

Shrugging, Lex replied easily, "Maybe. That's not likely to change, though. Shall we pour another toast?"

"No, that's all right," Lionel declined. "I have your good wishes, after all, right?"

They exchanged a long look before Lex's lips quirked into a half-smile. "Of course, Father."

"Then that's all I need. Call me when you return to Metropolis, Lex. I've decided to stick around for a while and personally oversee Luthor Corp's area investments."

"Lucky them."

"Exactly."

Lex followed his father back to the kitchen, where Clark was at the stove fixing breakfast. The broad shoulders didn't so much as twitch at Lionel's exit. Lex frowned when he saw that Jean was gone and asked, "Where'd Jean go?"

"To work," Clark answered, turning off the stove and facing Lex.

"You heard the rest of the conversation?" Lex asked, unnecessarily.

Clark nodded and tugged Lex close. "He probably didn't have another dose of whatever it is with him."

"That was my thought."

Sighing deeply, Clark rested his cheek on Lex's shoulder. Lex basked in his lover's heat for a few minutes then said, "Let's eat, then I can properly pack up that sample and send it out. I want to know exactly what my father's been doing with me of late."

* * * *

Their second time was slower, sweeter. Clark looked down at the bared body and ran his hands slowly over the lightly sculpted chest. The afternoon sun seemed to cause a glow in Lex's skin, as if his body couldn't get enough of the light.

Bending at the waist, Clark kissed a nipple and watched in fascination as goose-bumps erupted over Lex's chest. Repeating the action brought the same results and he grinned, whispering, "Cool."

"Clark," Lex sighed.

Clark glanced up and found Lex watching him with a mix of amusement and exasperation. Figuring that the goal was to move on, or at least try something different, Clark licked the same nipple, just the lightest flicker of his tongue over the hardened nub, but this time, he was rewarded with a soft moan. Then he sucked gently at it, pressing his tongue flat against the nipple and got a bonus of panting and a squirm.

Pulling back, Clark repeated, "Cool."

Half-laughing, half groaning, Lex ordered, "Please, try something else?"

Chuckling, Clark nodded and repeated the sequence on the other nipple, faster, and got a mix of all the responses, plus Lex's fingers twining through his hair to keep his head where it was. Grinning at the silent order, and loving the whole sucking and kissing thing, Clark was content to do that for a long time, moving from side to side until Lex was shaking and pushing at his shoulder.

Clark sat up, a little anxious, and asked, "Did I do something wrong? Are you all right?"

"I'm a little too all right, Clark, gonna come if you keep it up," Lex said hoarsely.

Breathing a little easier, Clark replied, "Oh. Good."

"Good?" Lex demanded in disbelief.

"Well yeah. I figure that we're going to be doing this for a couple of hours easy, so you can just come any old time you want."

Lex's jaw dropped and he fell back against the pillows, an arm covering his face as he muttered, "A couple of hours, he says. Stroke before my next birthday."

Snickering at the weak diatribe, Clark returned to his former position, only a little further down as he decided to become acquainted with Lex's midsection. He traced his tongue along the hollows of Lex's ribs and followed the curve down to his belly button. There he received a strange reaction when Lex doubled over and started laughing hysterically.

For a second, Clark didn't get it. He just stared blankly at the heaving, quivering wreck that was his lover...giggling? Then a huge grin crossed his face and he crowed, "You're ticklish! Oh my God, Lex, I can't believe you're ticklish!"

Still snorting with laughter, Lex wagged a finger at him and threatened, "Don't you even think about it, Clark."

"Think about what?"

"Oh yeah. Those 'innocent-little-me' eyes might fool others, but I'm on to your wily ways," Lex warned. "If you tickle me, you will never get laid again. Not by me, anyhow."

Clark didn't even debate. He just swooped in on Lex's mouth and sucked on his tongue. He was definitely getting the hang of the whole 'suck-equals-writhing-Lex' thing, and having a lot of fun with it. They'd done plenty of making out over the last month or so, but now Clark knew that Lex had been holding back. He didn't know why, but Lex had definitely been restraining himself.

No more of that, though. Not with how Lex was clinging to him and returning his passion with equal force. Their tongues practically dueled back and forth, teeth clicking together more often than not. And Lex was hard, they both were, but Clark was definitely in control where Lex had a ragged edge to him. Wasn't he supposed to be the inexperienced one and Lex in control?

Shrugging the thought away for later, Clark pulled back and gently pushed Lex down to the mattress while he went down. Carefully avoiding 'tickle' territory, just in case Lex had been serious, he licked his way down to the abdomen to where the scent of musk grew stronger. Shimmying down the bed, Clark settled between Lex's thighs and tentatively licked the underside of Lex's cock. The groan was a positive sign, so he did it again, watching the skin darken with as much fascination as he had the goose-bumps.

A really smart idea struck him and he almost laughed as he started sucking on Lex's cock. Just the tip first, kind of like a lollipop, then sliding as much of his mouth around the shaft and sucking. Lex's back arched and he shouted as he thrust uncontrollably into Clark's mouth, hips snapping forcefully. Clark barely managed to keep his throat open enough to take it and, thankfully, Lex didn't last long, spurting into Clark and then collapsing.

Choking a little, but swallowing most of the seed, Clark wiped at his mouth with the back of his hand and slid back up Lex's shivering body, placing little kisses here and there as he went. Once level with Lex, he pulled his lover into his arms.

"Oh God, Clark, oh God," Lex muttered over and over into his chest.

Clark stroked Lex's back in long, soothing movements and eventually, Lex came down from wherever he'd been. When he did, his arms wound around Clark's neck and he just breathed. Curious, Clark asked, "What're you doing?"

"You just smell so damn good. And you taste better. I think I'm addicted," Lex answered with a long sigh.

Clark grinned. "Worse things to get hooked on, I suppose."

"Much," Lex agreed. He shifted, his leg coming into contact with Clark's still hard cock and exclaimed, "Clark, you didn't come?"

Nuzzling Lex's throat, feeling warm and lazy and content, not at all urged on to do anything sexual, Clark shook his head. "Nope. But I had a lot of fun."

"But..."

"I'm good, Lex."

"Clark, I should at least..."

Clark kissed him silent. "I'm good, Lex, honest."

A slightly evil grin touched Lex's mouth as he confirmed, "Oh yeah, Clark, you're good. I'd even venture to say that you're very good."

Flushing, Clark buried his face against Lex's throat and complained, "Lex!"

"Now he blushes?"

"Shut up."

"Nipple sucker."

"Stop it!"

"Tongue-tickler!"

"Oh, man. Knock it off, Lex!"

"What happened to doing this for a couple of hours?" Lex teased, nipping at Clark's chin.

Clark smirked and countered, "What happened to needing a recuperation period? If you want, I could start doing that nipple thing again. Right now as a matter of fact."

Lex swallowed heavily and shut up.

* * * *

It wasn't until later in the day, when they were sitting quietly on the back porch swing and enjoying the warm afternoon that it occurred to Lex to wonder about Clark's other responsibilities. His arm tightened around Clark's waist and he asked, "Clark?"

Clark looked up from his book. "Yeah?"

"How did you manage all of this?"

"Huh?"

"Getting time off from school and the Planet," Lex clarified. "I assume you took the long way here."

Shrugging, Clark answered, "I took the time off."

"For how long?"

"Indefinite."

Lex's jaw dropped open with shock and he demanded, "Indefinite!?"

Putting down the book, Clark squirmed into a sideways position to face Lex as he repeated, "Indefinite."

"But, White's not going to keep your spot open, Clark, you're there on a trial-basis as it is! And all the work you did this semester! You can't let it go to waste!"

Clark covered Lex's mouth with his hand to stop the rest of the protest. When Lex fell silent, he said, "There's nothing more important than you, Lex, nothing. I should have realized that before this mess started, but somewhere, my priorities got messed up."

Wide-eyed, Lex just stared at the other man, unable to find his voice.

An amused and affectionate grin surfaced on Clark's face as he asked, "Did I finally find a way to make you speechless?"

Snorting, Lex replied, "It was only temporary, I assure you. And I can't let you do this, Clark."

"How are you going to make me leave?"

The simple question threw Lex and he had to think about it for a few minutes. Then he realized that even if he wanted to, which he really didn't, he couldn't. Sighing, though he wasn't sure if it was in relief or exasperation, Lex said, "I can't."

Clark smiled brightly. "Exactly. So just sit back and enjoy the ride."

Shaking his head, Lex observed, "You're a real pain in the butt sometimes, Clark."

"Not yet."

Unbelievably, Lex flushed at the wicked and blatant promise in Clark's voice. Swallowing heavily, he got to his feet and said, "I'm just, uh, I'll…I need something to drink."

Clark's warm laughter followed Lex's hasty retreat into the house.

* * * *

"Un-fucking-believable."

Clark looked anxiously over Lex's shoulder at the printout, but all he saw were chemical names and formulas. He didn't know enough chemistry to make any sense out of it. Of course, being fluent in Lex-speak, he knew from the furiously rigid set to his lover's shoulders that it was very bad. "What was it?"

"A mind-control drug that, when combined with an initial programming session and repeated hypnosis and drug treatments, virtually guarantees obedience without altering the personality," Lex ground out.

A chasm seemed to open beneath Clark's feet as he tried to grasp the depths of Lionel's need to control Lex. "But, that means…the kidnapping."

Lex nodded grimly and agreed, "It was his idea, with dear brother there to take the rap. The meteorites were a feint, slight of hand to draw attention from the real play."

"How long? I mean, how much time until the programming is complete?" Clark asked, panicking at the thought that he'd almost lost Lex.

As if sensing the feelings running through Clark, Lex crumpled the paper and tossed it away to pull Clark into his arms. "It's all right, Clark, I'm fine."

Clutching at his lover, Clark protested, "But what about your meetings? You don't even remember any of it!"

"I know, I know, but I'm fine. The toxicity levels in the blood sample I sent are barely enough for a foothold," Lex assured him. "I'd guess that Lionel super-amped my dosage each day and combined it with a hypnosis session as a kind of test. I'm betting that just seeing him is the catalyst, because I remember these splitting migraines whenever he showed up."

"I'm going to kill him!"

"No! You're not going to touch him!"

Clark pulled away from Lex, snarling, "Yes, I am! He can't do this to you and get away with it, Lex! I won't let him!"

Lex grabbed Clark's shirt and exclaimed, "No! Clark, listen to me. The only way you can kill him with impunity is as Superman, and I won't let you defile that. The world needs you too much. Please, Clark, I need you too much."

The desperate quality to Lex's voice broke through Clark's fury like nothing else could. His mate was hurt and in need and he would do anything to keep the other safe, even accede to his wishes in this. Locking his arms around Lex, he whispered, "It's all right, I won't. I was just angry, I promise."

They were silent like that, wrapped around each other and lost in their own thoughts. Clark pulled away first, cupping Lex's face between his hands and vowing, "I'm never going to let him hurt you again, Lex. I swear."

"You can't protect me, Clark, not from something that you can't see coming."

"I can and I will."

There was a silent battle of wills, neither giving an inch for several long moments. Then a reluctant smile crossed Lex's face and he observed, "You're going to be stubborn about this, aren't you?"

"Very," Clark stated. "Impossibly. Ultimately. Incredibly."

"All right, all right! Enough with the adverbs!" Lex exclaimed, giving in with a laugh.

Grinning, Clark captured his mouth in a slow, gentle kiss. Now he could feel the need humming through him that had been absent before when he'd sucked Lex to orgasm. He fed on Lex's mouth, as deep as he could go, devouring him as his hands roamed down Lex's back to grasp his lover's ass.

Lex breathed heavily through his nose, keeping the contact between them as long as Clark wanted it. The only thing was that he never wanted to let go, never wanted to lose it. Finally breaking away, Clark said urgently, "Need you, Lex, so much."

Staring up into Clark's eyes, Lex nodded slowly. "Let's go to bed, Clark."

Unable to wait a second longer than necessary, Clark pulled Lex into his arms and speeded to the bedroom, stopping at the bed and gently placing his lover on the mattress. They made short work of clothing and were prone on the bed in an even shorter time after that.

Clark's hand gripped Lex's ass, rubbing it suggestively as he murmured against Lex's mouth, "Need you, Lex, so bad."

Smiling, Lex teased, "Never would have guessed. Lube's in the top drawer, Clark."

Clark stretched and grabbed it out of the drawer, accidentally pulling the drawer off it's rollers. Flushing a little, he grinned at Lex who just shook his head and grinned back. "Um, now what?"

In answer, Lex took his hand and sucked on a finger. Clark shuddered as he imagined Lex doing that to his cock. The need to do something grew and he savaged Lex's mouth again, grinding their lips together. Panting, he pulled back and poured some lube on his hand, breathing in the scent of roses as he smeared it between his fingers.

Sliding his slick hand between Lex's ass provoked a long moan from his lover and he grinned fiercely. This was his, only his from now on, no one else would ever know Lex like this. Sucking hard on Lex's collarbone, he easily marked the pale skin as a finger moved into Lex's hole. Lex grunted in discomfort, so Clark took his time, pleased at the evidence that Lex hadn't done this, at least, in a long time.

Lex shuddered and hooked a leg over Clark's hip, opening himself further as he said, "Keep putting in fingers and stretching until you think it's loose enough back there to put your cock inside me."

Shuddering at the hot words, Clark nodded and returned to his favorite pastime of kissing. It seemed forever before Lex was taking two fingers easily, and though Clark was ready to burst, he held on because his cock was way bigger than just two fingers-width. Then a third went in and Lex was moaning breathlessly, pushing back on the intrusion with eagerness.

Clark gently shifted Lex onto his stomach and just stared for a few moments, loving the sight of his lover spread out before him. He licked and his way down Lex's spine as he got into position. Lex pushed himself onto his knees, legs spreading further, and whispered thickly, "Fuck me, Clark, love me now!"

Groaning, Clark aimed at the dark portal into Lex and began pushing himself inside. It was so tight, so tight around him that he couldn't get very far, stopping at Lex's almost agonized moan. "Lex? Did I hurt you?"

"Uh, a little, but don't worry. Just go slow, okay? A little at a time to let me get used to you," Lex ordered, love in his voice.

Clark did as Lex instructed, barely keeping himself from just shoving all the way forward like his body demanded. It was like he could hear voices in his head telling him to take what was his, take his rightful place, master the man beneath him.

It was distracting and frightening and hot, all at the same time, because he could see himself doing it. He could imagine himself plowing into Lex, making him scream with the fucking, using him for his own pleasure and the knowledge that Lex would be powerless to stop him was intoxicating and sickening. He teetered on the edge of succumbing for an eternity, the silky heat surrounding his cock inviting him to do it.

When he pushed forward a little too far, too fast, a small, pained moan from Lex stopped him cold. Lex was offering him everything, giving him everything, and there was no way that Clark could abuse that trust.

He reached under Lex and found him completely soft, which froze him. The images in his head were revealed for the evil and twisted things they were, falling to ash instantly. Worried, he said, "Lex, I'm going to stop, this is hurting you."

But Lex reached back for him, keeping him in place and saying, "No, Clark, please. I want this, need it."

"But..."

"I'm fine, really. Please?"

Clark hesitated, but he was almost all the way in and thought that maybe pulling out would hurt just as much as going forward, so he gave in, doubtfully. "Okay."

Laughing somewhat breathlessly, Lex said, "Thanks."

Another eternity later and Clark was flush against Lex's body, covering him like a second skin and kissing every part of him that his mouth could reach, murmuring between kisses, "Love you, so beautiful, adore you, Lex, love you so much."

He didn't know how long they were there, but the urgency began to build again and he was aching to move, do something, anything. Clark wouldn't, though, not knowing that it was going to hurt Lex.

"Ah, Clark?"

"Yeah?"

"You're supposed to start moving."

"I was waiting for you."

"Such a polite boy."

Clark laughed and insulted fondly, "Dickwad."

"I am now apparently," Lex returned easily.

Hesitant despite the ready banter, Clark pulled back and pushed in, just a little. He swallowed heavily as the friction from even just that small motion hit him in the gut. Reaching beneath Lex again, he was relieved to find a little firmness to his lover's cock. Rubbing it slowly, caressing it and playing lightly with the balls behind it brought out a moan of pleasure and further hardening.

"God yes, Clark, keep doing that," Lex ordered.

Chuckling at the command, Clark kept rolling the sacks between his fingers as he moved in and out of Lex. They were both sweating from the exertion, and the intensity that had always been between them was urging Clark to go faster, harder. Groaning, he mouthed at Lex's back, biting to keep himself in check. He would not hurt Lex. It became a refrain inside, easily blocking out the weirdness from before.

Lex pushed back unexpectedly hard and said, "Fuck me, Clark, I know you need to by now. Do it."

"Won't hurt you," Clark growled, nipping at a shoulder blade.

With a low chuckle that sent a fresh burst of shivers through Clark, Lex shoved back forcefully. Clark shouted as pleasure shot through his cock and his balls tightened dangerously. "Fuck!"

"That's the idea," Lex snarled, pushing back again and again, taking the choice completely out of Clark's too-worried hands.

Clark knew he was babbling, but couldn't stop himself as he began to move at the fast pace that Lex dictated. "Lex, fuck, God, it's so good, I'm in you so much, deeper, need to get deeper into you, please, love you, need more, love you so much."

"God yes!" Lex shouted when Clark slammed into him. "Again! Right like that, fuck! Clark!"

Repeating the same trajectory and force provoked another shout of triumph from Lex. Clark realized that he'd just found his lover's prostate and yes, Lex was sensitive like the books had claimed. Grinning fiercely, Clark teased his lover with this new toy until Lex was writhing and begging for more.

It was a double-edged sword, though, because Clark was riding the ragged edge himself. The inside of Lex's passage was slick from his pre-come, and the tightness that sizzled through him heralded an orgasm. He redoubled his efforts to crawl inside Lex by sheer force of will and nailed deeper and deeper, as far as he could get with each thrust.

Lex collapsed, moaning long and loud as he came hard, eyes rolling up as Clark continued to pound into him. With a spine-cracking arch into the final lunge, Clark shouted his release, coming in long spurts inside his lover, his mate, muscles taut as steel. He felt Lex's hole spasm around his cock as the other man came again, just from that final joining, even if the rest of him didn't move.

Shuddering, Clark dropped slowly to his side, pulling Lex with him, not wanting to lose the connection between them. Silence reigned but for their hoarse breathing and the occasional shivery moan. When Clark finally regained the capacity for rational thought, he panicked at how rough he'd been and asked frantically, "Lex? Lex, are you okay? God, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be so rough, so hard!"

Lex reached back and cupped Clark's face as he assured, "I'm fine, Clark, I'm fine."

Anxious, Clark asked, "Are you sure?"

Lex chuckled weakly and nodded. "Positive."

"Should I, should I move? Um, pull out?" Clark questioned.

"Not on my account."

The utterly lazy and content tone finally penetrated Clark's worry, convincing him that Lex really was okay. Sighing in relief, Clark kissed Lex's ear tenderly and said, "I'm going to pull out anyhow, just in case."

"Sure. Whatever."

Clark snorted, pretty sure that was the first time he'd ever heard Lex say 'whatever' and mean it. Careful and slow, he pulled his mostly soft cock from Lex and froze when he saw blood on it. Swallowing heavily, he whispered, "Lex, there's, there's blood."

"Hmm?" Lex asked sleepily.

"Blood on me, I did hurt you," Clark exclaimed. All the potential internal injuries he'd read about surfaced in his mind, looming with horror.

"Breathe, Clark," Lex ordered. He winced as he turned onto his stomach and asked, "Is it actually bleeding, or is it just blood?"

"Just blood? It's your blood!"

"Clark, work with me here. Use your vision. Am I torn or injured?"

Responding to the commanding tone, Clark swallowed his fear and scanned Lex. After a few intent moments, he realized that there was no problem, that Lex wasn't actually bleeding. Breathing in relief, he said, "You're okay."

"There, see? It's to be expected."

Clark frowned. "No, I'm pretty sure not."

Lex flushed and amended, "It's to be expected the first time."

Astonishment rippled through Clark as he repeated, "First time? But Lex, you said you'd done this before! You've had male lovers."

"Well yes, just, no one's ever topped me before," Lex explained, not meeting Clark's eyes. "I never trusted anyone that much before."

Love, tenderness, horror and aggravation all demanded attention and the aggravation won. "Why didn't you tell me? God! I would have..."

"Been even more terrified of hurting me," Lex cut in. He grimaced and shifted onto his side to face Clark. "You were positive that you'd go too far, right? That your strength would hurt me."

Serious, Clark nodded.

"If I'd told you I'd never done this before, what would you have done?"

"I, I don't know," Clark admitted.

Lex snorted. "I do. You'd have found some way to not do it. Clark, we're in this together. We need to share everything and I, I wanted to give myself to you that way. For once, I'm glad of my compulsive need for control because without it, I wouldn't have been able to share it with you."

Overwhelmed, Clark managed a shaky smile and kissed Lex gently. "I love you, Lex. Thank you for, for trusting me. Not just in this. I made such a mess of things..."

Putting his hand over Clark's mouth, Lex shook his head. "You were played by a master, Clark. We both were. But we're on the same page now and it won't happen again."

Clark shook his head as well, agreeing, "Never again."

With a deep sigh, Lex smiled and pleaded, "Can I get some sleep now? You definitely wore me out."

Smiling shyly, Clark asked, "So it was okay?"

Lex laughed with love and carefully moved closer, burrowing into Clark's embrace. "I only lost consciousness and/or touched God, Clark. I think it was pretty okay."

Content with the feel of Lex in his arms, Clark said, "I'm glad."

It was only a few minutes before Lex fell asleep, his breathing steady and slow. Clark couldn't shut off his thoughts, though. Not just about Lionel and the drugs, but also the compulsion inside from those voices. What had they been? Would they be back? Would it get worse?

Whatever they were, and no matter what else Lionel threw at them, they were prepared now. As Lex had said, they were on the same page, finally. After all, the best offense, was a good defense. Or, was it the best defense was a good offense? Clark could never remember sports metaphors, they were Pete's thing. Sighing deeply, he hitched a protective leg over Lex and curled around his lover's sleeping body.

Whatever happened, they would face it together and win, each and every time.